Elevators are gay...

So on Monday i had a paper which i had decided to read all night on Sunday for. Unfortunately for me i fell asleep midway through reading. I woke up without about 30 mins left before the exam starts and i rushed out the door knowing it would take me at least 20 mins to get to class. I live on the 7th floor so i had to take the elevator. One thing about the elevators in my building is that they're not the express elevators that go straight to where you ask for, if for example in my case i'm at the 7th floor and i want to go to the ground-floor it would stop if someone at the fifth floor had called it down. So i rushed into the elevator and my friend Mike from the 8th floor was already in it. With my rush i wasnt completely well dressed so i figured i would do some touch ups in the elevator on the way out. Mike clearly saw my predicament and decided to help me do my shirt as i fastened my belt. But like 5 seconds later the elevator stopped at the 5th floor, the doors opened and there was "Hot 5th floor girl". Now let me pause the story to describe hot 5th floor girl. Usually when someone does something epic, he no longer has just one name; he/she has a description. Like for example my friend Tom, he had his claim to fame when we were teenagers and a fight was about to break out at the basketball court and he came out barechest holding a baby and broke up the fight.... from then on noone called him tom anymore but everyone refered to him as "Bare-chested Tom who came and stopped a fight holding a baby". Literally whenever someone would mention him they would use the entire description instead of just his name; "Yeah i got these new cool t-shirts from Bare-chested Tom who came and stopped a fight holding a baby.. his house is right next to smelly Pete who tried to rob his uncles store wearing his dads shirt". Same goes for hot 5th floor girl, none of us ever referred to her by her name but by her description because she was unbelievably hot to the point it would just get uncomfortable being near her. But anyway, the doors open and here is hot 5th floor girl looking into the elevator with me trying to buckle my belt and Mike buttoning my shirt, it was not a pretty sight... She just giggled and said "I'll let you two lovebirds get back to it"..

Lazy Suicide

So today i was talking to my friend and she commented on my blog. Her reasoning was that i write too much about suicide. I think its a very normal thought to think about killing yourself. But what's weird is that everytime i thought of suicide its never over anything big, it's always little things. Like if my girlfriend broke up with me i'd be devastated. I'd be crying, lying in the fetal position for like 3 days, but on the 4th day i'd probably play some xbox and go on with my life... you know, join a gym and lie to myself that i'd get a six pack and so on. But little things get to me. i thought about killing myself last year during my friends birthday, why? coz i said i was going to make a pie. My roomate came up to me while i was watching soccer and started talking about how excited she was about her boyfriends birthday and kept talking about how she will plan a party and bake a cake, but then she asked me what i would do for it. and at the time i thought all i had to do is behave and not talk about rubber ducks in front of her boyfriends parents so i panicked and said i would make a pie. But i dunno how to make a pie, i just said that to make her go away. Which worked she went away all excited and i totally forgot about it. 2 weeks later she woke up all excited and asked me about the pie. And i started thinking bout all i have to do, go to the grocery store, buy some flour etc. and then i started thinking "what if i just go up to the roof of the house and jump onto the sharp spiky fence and just die? Then i wouldn't have to make the pie." So it's not even like i'm suicidal, its more of i'm just lazy. Like whenever I know the next 4 hours of my life will suck, I think about suicide. Like if I have to pay my electricity bill and there's a long queue I always look outside to see if there's a bus coming that I can jump in front of.

Moral of the story: Don't be lazy, be suicidal. It sounds fancier.