SO TOUCHING

I was walking
around in a supermarket when i saw a cashier
hand this little boy his money back, the boy
couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have
... enough money to buy this doll.'' The little boy
turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are
you sure I don't have enough money?'' She
replied, ''You know that you...... don't have
enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then
she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes
while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who
he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my
sister loved most and wanted so much for
Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would
bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa
Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to
worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus
can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to
give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it
to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were
so sad while saying this, 'My Sister has gone to be
with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see
God very soon too, so I thought that she could
take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My
heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at
me and said, 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to
go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from
the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of
himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want
mommy to take my picture with her so she won't
forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she
didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she
has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he
looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the
boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do
have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I
hope I do have enough.' I added some of my
money to his without him seeing and we started
to count it. There was enough for the doll and
even some spare money. The little boy said,
'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night
before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had
enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy
could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also
wanted to have enough money to buy a white
rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God
for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the
doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white
roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned
and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping
in a totally different state of mind from when I
started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two
days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a
truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman
and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the
mother was left in a critical state. The family had to
decide whether to pull the plug on the life-
sustaining machine because the young woman
would not be able to recover from the coma. Was
this the family of the little boy? Two days after this
encounter with the little boy I read in the
newspaper that the young woman had passed
away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch
of white roses and I went to the funeral home
where the body of the young woman was for
people to see and make last wishes before her
burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a
beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of
the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I
left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had
been changed forever. The love that the little boy
had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day,
hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a
drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices: (1) Copy & Paste this on
your wall (2) Ignore it as if it never touched your
heart.

I believe Im a special breed of man, one that's unique in all his attributes... one that hates authority...
No, not that kind of authority, I mean being in charge. I loathe being in charge.. I believe this preposterous disease should have a name. I belive ignorance certainly doesnt it justice.
as I write this, I'm being asked where money will come from? I'm young people! how hard does it take for such a small fact to sink in?
where do people get the guts to command so much authority and not completly lose their minds?
good question steve... now where can I get an answer coz my days are numbered.
you, yes you are the reason I'm still living. I so wonder what would happen if I didn't have you, my mom, the other reason I had for living passed away some time back.
Me being the brains behind the family, a couple of sheep not able to calculate the simplest of sums... a story for another day...
let me lay my anger to rest here. have an awesome nite all.
this might be the worst of blogs I have written but I wanted this and apparently I have authority only here...

HERE WITHOUT YOU- 3DD

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me
Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh

AS I GET OLDER

As i get older,
i see more clearly,
but not with my eyes.
I hear more sharply,
but not with my ears.
I smell more ripely,
but not with my nose...

As i get older,
i see more clearly,
but not with my eyes.
i hear more sharply,
but not with my ears.
I touch more intimately,
but not with my finger...

As i get older,
i see more clearly,
but not with my eyes.
I hear more sharply,
but not with my ears.
I love more deeply,
but not with my penis...

As i grow older,
i see more clearly,
but not with my eyes.
I hear more sharply,
but not with my ears.
I think more better,
but not with my brain... my head... nagging...

As i grow older,
i see more clearly.

PURPLE SMOKE

Ok this is not what you all are thinking, yes you and you.. oh, you too. life is short, so im reminded every waking minute of my little pathetic life. thats all, "remind this idiot today" i wonder if they say that each time to each person. 

ill accept this but only under complete duress... blunts are worth shit! first this week something sick just happened. my `dealer` increased the price of his commodity citing traffic as the hinderance.. wtf? nigga grow a pair! traffic police have always been there, dont tell me hey magically appeared this week. nkt, pussies really piss me off. 

                     IF YOU CANT STAND THE HEAT GET THE FUCK OUT THE KITCHEN

Oh, BTW iv been doing my exams this week and as if mother nature wanted to make sure i got properly screwed over, she turned her metre to freezing fucking cold! i know i haven't bee the most avid of readers but why punish me thoroughly all at once? nature gave me a cold this week.. thank you alot, would you like anything in return?

As i conclude this short post of venting, incomprehensible jargon and simple stupidity, id like to say that first i`m sober as balls,except from nursing a huge hangover from drinking jana... so any ideas portrayed in this text cannot be held against me in any capacity... Have an awesome time.

Elevators are gay...

So on Monday i had a paper which i had decided to read all night on Sunday for. Unfortunately for me i fell asleep midway through reading. I woke up without about 30 mins left before the exam starts and i rushed out the door knowing it would take me at least 20 mins to get to class. I live on the 7th floor so i had to take the elevator. One thing about the elevators in my building is that they're not the express elevators that go straight to where you ask for, if for example in my case i'm at the 7th floor and i want to go to the ground-floor it would stop if someone at the fifth floor had called it down. So i rushed into the elevator and my friend Mike from the 8th floor was already in it. With my rush i wasnt completely well dressed so i figured i would do some touch ups in the elevator on the way out. Mike clearly saw my predicament and decided to help me do my shirt as i fastened my belt. But like 5 seconds later the elevator stopped at the 5th floor, the doors opened and there was "Hot 5th floor girl". Now let me pause the story to describe hot 5th floor girl. Usually when someone does something epic, he no longer has just one name; he/she has a description. Like for example my friend Tom, he had his claim to fame when we were teenagers and a fight was about to break out at the basketball court and he came out barechest holding a baby and broke up the fight.... from then on noone called him tom anymore but everyone refered to him as "Bare-chested Tom who came and stopped a fight holding a baby". Literally whenever someone would mention him they would use the entire description instead of just his name; "Yeah i got these new cool t-shirts from Bare-chested Tom who came and stopped a fight holding a baby.. his house is right next to smelly Pete who tried to rob his uncles store wearing his dads shirt". Same goes for hot 5th floor girl, none of us ever referred to her by her name but by her description because she was unbelievably hot to the point it would just get uncomfortable being near her. But anyway, the doors open and here is hot 5th floor girl looking into the elevator with me trying to buckle my belt and Mike buttoning my shirt, it was not a pretty sight... She just giggled and said "I'll let you two lovebirds get back to it"..

Lazy Suicide

So today i was talking to my friend and she commented on my blog. Her reasoning was that i write too much about suicide. I think its a very normal thought to think about killing yourself. But what's weird is that everytime i thought of suicide its never over anything big, it's always little things. Like if my girlfriend broke up with me i'd be devastated. I'd be crying, lying in the fetal position for like 3 days, but on the 4th day i'd probably play some xbox and go on with my life... you know, join a gym and lie to myself that i'd get a six pack and so on. But little things get to me. i thought about killing myself last year during my friends birthday, why? coz i said i was going to make a pie. My roomate came up to me while i was watching soccer and started talking about how excited she was about her boyfriends birthday and kept talking about how she will plan a party and bake a cake, but then she asked me what i would do for it. and at the time i thought all i had to do is behave and not talk about rubber ducks in front of her boyfriends parents so i panicked and said i would make a pie. But i dunno how to make a pie, i just said that to make her go away. Which worked she went away all excited and i totally forgot about it. 2 weeks later she woke up all excited and asked me about the pie. And i started thinking bout all i have to do, go to the grocery store, buy some flour etc. and then i started thinking "what if i just go up to the roof of the house and jump onto the sharp spiky fence and just die? Then i wouldn't have to make the pie." So it's not even like i'm suicidal, its more of i'm just lazy. Like whenever I know the next 4 hours of my life will suck, I think about suicide. Like if I have to pay my electricity bill and there's a long queue I always look outside to see if there's a bus coming that I can jump in front of.

Moral of the story: Don't be lazy, be suicidal. It sounds fancier.

“Illusions”

I think if reincarnation is true, Harry Houdini must’ve reincarnated as a Kenyan politician. I mean, can these guys create smoke screens or what???!
Just think of any major graft story that has ever hit the headlines in Kenya and tell me of a satisfactory conclusion to it.
Goldenberg? Anglo leasing? Oil scandal? The budget error? Name it and I assure you that you’ll never find a satisfactory conclusion. The closest we came to a satisfactory conclusion was when Patni went vacationing in Kamiti.
But are our politicians and government entirely to blame? What about us as wananchi? What lengths do we go to in order to play our part? Other than the initial noise making, what else do we ever do? We even go to such pitiful heights as to glorify the offenders like they are some kind of heroes! I’ve heard not once people say what a cool, smooth and intelligent guy Kamlesh Pattni is. Seriously?? Do you have any idea how many steps back his scam took the country?
There is always a smoke screen moments after major scam surfaces. What happened to the initial Hague list scenario? The Mau forest thing came up? Before the Mau we had the maize scandal which came after the oil scandal. Recently we had the Ngong forest scandal which has been overshadowed by Ruto going to The Hague.
Here is some homework from me to you. Observe these whole Ruto going to the Hague thing and tell me if it’s the real deal or a smoke screen for something else or even better, see if you can pick the smoke screen that’s about to be created to cover Ruto and Hague. i.e., A thousand and one cases about Ruto being resurrected. Why now? To destroy Ruto’s career? Really? If Kenyan political history has taught me anything, it’s never what it seems!

25 to Life

I don't think she understands
The sacrifices that I made
Maybe if this bitch had acted right
I would have stayed
But I've already wasted over half my life
I would have laid down and died for you
I longer cry for you
No more pain
Bitch you took me for granted
Took my heart and ran it straight into the planet
Into the dirt
I can no longer stand it
Now my respect I demand it
Imma take control of this relationship
Command it
And I'm gonna be the boss of you now
goddammit
And what I mean is that
I'm will no longer let you control me
So you better hear me out
This much you owe me
I gave up my life for you
Totally devoted to you
Why I've stayed
Faithful all the way
This is how I fucking get repaid?
Look at how I dress
Fucking baggy sweats
Go to work a mess
Always in a rush to get back to you
I ain't heard you yet
Not even once say you appreciate me
I deserve respect
I've done my best to give you
Nothing less then perfectness
And I know that if I end this
I'll no longer have nothing left
But you keep treating me like a staircase
It's time to fucking step
And I wont be coming back
So don't hold your fucking breath
You know what you've done
No need to go in depth
I told you you'd be sorry
If I fucking left
I laughed while you wept
How's it feel now?
Yeah funny ain't it
You neglected me
Did me a favor
Let all my spirit free
You've said
Got a special place for you
In my heart
That I have kept
It's unfortunate but it's
Too late
For the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life...
I feel like
When I bend over backwards for you
All you do is laugh
 Cu z that ain't good enough
You expect me to fold myself in half
Till I snap
Don't think I'm loyal
All I do is rap
How can I moonlight on the side
I have no life outside of that
Don't I give you enough of my time?
You don't think so do you?
Jealous when I spend time with the girls
Why I'm married to you still
Man I don't know
But tonight I'm serving you with papers
I'm divorcing you
Go marry someone else
And make em famous
And take away their freedom
Like you did to me
Treat em like you don't need em
And they ain't worthy of you
Feed em
The same shit that you made me eat
I'm moving on
Forget you
Oh now I'm special
I didn't feel special when I was wit you
All I ever felt was this
Helplessness
Imprisoned by a selfish bitch
Chew me up and spit me out
I fell for this
So many times
It's ridiculous
And still I stick with this
I'm sick of this
But in my sickness
And addiction
Your addictive as they get
Evil as they come
Vindictive as they make em
My friends keep asking me
Why I can't just walk away from
I'm addicted
To the pain, the stress
The drama
I'm drawn to shit
So I guess I'm a mess
Cursed and blessed
But this time imma
Ain't changing my mind
I'm climbing out this abyss
Your screaming as I walk out
That I'll be missed
But when you spoke of people
Who meant the most to you
You left me off your list
Fuck you hip hop
I'm leaving you
My life sentence is served bitch
And it's just
Too late
For the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life...

Forever Young

This will be my first blog... and hopefully not my last.. its mainly dedicated to my late mother Virginia. W. Huruko who passed away on 8th February 2011. I heard this song today and it hit my heart... at least i know i still have it in me.. my heart, i mean... its a country song, i don't know its title nor its writer but its touching... really touching...

May God bless you and keep you always, may your wishes all come true.

May you always do for others and let others do for you,

May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every wrung,

and may you stay...    forever  young,

may you stay...      forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous, 

May you grow up to be true...

May you always know the truth and see the light surrounding you.

May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong,

and may you stay...    forever  young,

may you stay...     forever young.

May your hands always be busy, may your feet always be swift.

may you have a strong foundation when the winds of changes shift..

and may your heart always be joyful, may your song always be sung...

and may you stay...    forever  young,

may you stay...   forever young.

I listened to it more than 23 times, and it grew on me... trouble is it was a movie, nah, seasons track. One called Sons Of Anarchy. Its wrong on so many levels in the series because it revolves around death, guns but also love...
i think im growing emotional and if you know me, thats not my strong suit.
Let me say that i have alot to say to you all but for now this is my tribute to my mum.

REST IN PEACE.